You Are Not a Burden: Embracing Support and Self-Worth with Chronic Illness
Living with a chronic illness is hard enough on its own. But when you get stuck in the thought spirals of feeling like a burden to the people around you because of your illness? That adds a whole other layer of struggle. This is something I have personally dealt with for years. And just recently, I’ve started to unpack these feelings in therapy—which has helped so much.
The truth is: you are not a burden, even if you feel like one.
If the people around you are making you feel like a burden, and if it’s possible, you need to distance yourself from them. You deserve compassion, care, understanding, and love—especially when you’re struggling with a chronic illness. The right people in your life will support you, not make you feel guilty for needing that support.
My Personal Experience with Feeling Like a Burden
In my case, I live with my boyfriend. I work full-time, but I make a lot less than he does. When you add in my medical expenses, I bring home significantly less money each year. Because of this, I struggled a lot during the first few months of us living together. I felt like I wasn’t pulling my weight—especially when factoring in my incredibly low energy, the fact that I have more bad symptom days than good, and the reality that I just can’t do everything I want to do because of my health.
I want to give a special shoutout to my amazing boyfriend for always supporting me and never once making me feel like a burden. These feelings? They were ones I was projecting onto him.
When I brought this up in therapy, my therapist asked me some tough but necessary questions:
Has your boyfriend ever asked you to pay more?
Has he asked you to work more?
Has he asked you to do more around the house?
The answers were all no. In fact, he’s always supported my journey and just wants me to rest and get better. My therapist helped me realize that these feelings of being a burden weren’t coming from my boyfriend—they were coming from me. The truth is, the people who love you want to help you, and if you were truly a burden to them, they would make you feel like it.
Of course, those feelings still creep in sometimes. But now, I can recognize that they’re just that—feelings, not facts.
And the same goes for you: you are not a burden just because you are sick.
How to Overcome Feeling Like a Burden
Recognizing this is one thing, but actually believing it is another. It takes time to rewire those thoughts, and honestly, I’m still working on it. But here are some things that have helped me shift my mindset and could help you too.
1. Identify Where These Feelings Come From
Sometimes, feeling like a burden is deeply rooted in past experiences, societal conditioning, or even internalized ableism. Ask yourself:
Have I been in relationships where I was made to feel like a burden?
Am I comparing myself to people who don’t live with chronic illness?
Do I feel guilty for needing help?
Understanding why you feel this way can help you start challenging those thoughts.
2. Challenge the Narrative in Your Head
When those thoughts creep in, ask yourself:
Is this actually true?
Would I say this to a friend who is in my position?
Have the people around me actually made me feel like a burden, or is this my own perception?
More often than not, the reality doesn’t match the story we’re telling ourselves.
3. Communicate With Your Loved Ones
If you’re struggling with these thoughts, talk about them. It can feel scary to be vulnerable, but opening up to your partner, friends, or family can help you see things from their perspective. Sometimes, just hearing someone say, “You are not a burden. I love and care about you,” can make a world of difference.
4. Remind Yourself That Everyone Needs Help Sometimes
It’s easy to feel like you’re the only one who needs extra support, but the truth is—everyone does. Whether it’s emotional support, financial help, or physical assistance, no one gets through life alone. Your illness might require you to ask for more help than others, but that doesn’t make you a burden.
5. Reframe the Way You See Support
Instead of thinking, I’m a burden because I need help, try shifting your mindset to:
I am worthy of love and care, just as I am.
The people who love me want to support me.
Accepting help is not a sign of weakness, it’s a part of life.
The people who truly care about you aren’t keeping score. They aren’t waiting for you to “repay” them for the love and support they give you.
6. Give Yourself the Same Grace You Give Others
Would you ever look at a loved one struggling and think, Wow, they’re such a burden? Of course not. So why do we say it to ourselves? Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would give to someone else in your position.
Final Thoughts
Feeling like a burden is a tough emotion to work through, but I promise—you are not a burden. You are a human being navigating life with a chronic illness, and you deserve support, love, and care. The people who truly love you see your worth beyond your illness. And on the days when your brain tries to tell you otherwise, remind yourself: I am not a burden just because I am sick.
You are worthy, exactly as you are.
💬 I’d love to hear your thoughts—have you ever struggled with this feeling? How do you work through it? Drop a comment below or connect with me on social media.
